In the past few months I have shared with you some concerns I have had about some friends of mine that have been sick. Recently one of those friends by the name of Bob Cox passed away. Bob and his wife Claudia were nothing but a Godsend to us. When we were leaving TN to move to Cedartown we didn’t have a place to keep our horses. We found their phone number in the phone book, gave him a call and when we arrived (four hours late at 11:00pm) he was waiting on us and an instant friendship began.
Bob was one of those type people that you felt like you have known all your life. My boys instantly took a liking to him and Bob returned the favor! He would always ask the boys “Have you gotta hug for me?” Brody and Cooper had a thing about riding with Bob on his golf cart around the arena. Bob would always let them take turns driving and I can still see the boys laughing and giggling
as they would drive a pattern around the barrels and I can still see that huge smile on Bob’s face as he would be helping them steer trying to help them miss the posts. Most visits ended with Mrs. Claudia bringing out popsicles, if the boys hadn’t already gone inside to get one themselves, then the Boys and Bob would sit on the golf cart and enjoy them while they would talk about grown up things like… why dogs liked popsicles so much! This conversation stemmed from Cooper always saying he was full and wanting to know if he could give the rest of his Popsicle to Dottie (Bob’s dog).
It is memories like these that I hold dear to my heart. Bob battled a lung disorder for several of his lasts months in ICU. I couldn’t bring myself to go visit him and I can say I don’t regret it! I believe Bob was one of those type of people that wouldn’t want a bunch of people in there gawking over him. I do know that my boys terribly wanted to see him but I wanted their memories of Bob to be memories of a man that was healthy, kind and loving. It’s hard on little people to deal with death. You don’t think about it being that bad but kids take in a lot more than we realize.
With that said I owe Bob Cox a great deal! Bob and Claudia not only took us in so to speak but also gave my children a life lesson. You see Bob extended his hand to us many times and expected nothing in return. When I say extended himself I mean he cared, shared, labored and loved for people that he, among many people’s standards, hardly knew! When Tracy had Tyler, all we had to do was pick up the phone and call Bob and Claudia and everything was taken care of with the horses. I don’t just trust anyone with my horses so that is saying a lot especially someone that at the time I had only known about three months. I remember going to feed a couple of times after Tyler was born and Brody saying “Dad stay here Bob said he would feed”. Both of my sons learned how to make friendships and how to be a good friend.
Bob and I had many conversations in his blacksmiths shop around his old pot bellied stove. I learned a great deal from Bob about horses, shoeing and life! Our conversations were about many things from horses to religion and if I regret one thing it was not asking him if he had been saved. I just assumed it. That could have been a big mistake on my part but at his funeral the preacher that spoke was a long time friend of Bob’s. As he was speaking the thought hit me as I’m sure it has many of you, some people just don’t like to admit it. Was he saved? For a moment I felt really scared and mad at myself for not ever bringing it up. He was telling that while in the hospital Bob wanted to see him about getting saved. Bob was on a respirator for the last three months of his ICU stay and couldn’t talk much if at all. He explained that the night he drove to the hospital he was scared about saying the right things to Bob about becoming saved. Then he said a peace came over him. When he got to the hospital Bob was having a rough time and they really couldn’t visit. He went back the next day and Bob still couldn’t talk but they got it done!
I guess my point here is we don’t need to leave anything to assumption especially when it comes to the people we love. I know everyone has their own ideas of religion and that is our privilege that God has given us but I know I’m guilty of not asking the big question. I think it is a matter of feeling awkward or it is that taboo question that most of us are afraid of asking. In the back of our minds we are thinking “They will think I’m weird or one of those Jesus Freaks!” The truth be known they might, but that is a small price to pay. I feel like I let Bob down as a friend even though he did make that decision he had to ask someone and that shouldn’t have had to happen.
Friendships are something to be treasured and I think we all stand to learn a lot from Bob Cox. I think on some levels we extend ourselves to others but how many of us can say we have or better yet ARE a true friend. My neighbor told me one time that “To have a good neighbor you have to be a good neighbor”. Mr. Early’s saying holds true on so many levels!
By the time some of you read this you will be at the NTRL Finals in Jacksonville, FL. I know they have prepared an awesome finals and will be giving lots of CASH and prizes away so I hope to see you all soon!
God Bless,
JD